shopping warzone

I recommend to you all to get your holiday shopping done ASAP, because it's getting nasty out there. I was at the mall yesterday, and as I was walking by the crowds in front of Waldenbooks and Electronics Boutique, I swear that I saw a dozen swung punches, three long blades drawn, and one pit bull hidden inside a trenchcoat. I think there might have even been a tazer used against another shopper at the Gap, but the ninja's attacking a small boy for his PS2 blocked my view. Shoppers are becoming more and more consumed with greed, and I think it's effecting their central nervous system. The reason I say this is because I see an occasional shopper melt from the inside out, and then geletize into the shape of a hand giving the finger.

PLEASE, people! be careful. try to take an occasional break from your shopping spree to stop by the pet store and watch the ferrets, or eat a Cin-a-bon, or play the sample video games. ANYTHING to relax. It's very important to you, and the people around you.