Striptease

dental talk

going to the dentist tomorrow... we'll see if all the soda has had any effect on my pearly whites. Which is a lie, I mean, they're not white. NObody has perfectly white teeth. and if they are, they're either brittle or whitened. I tried using some of that whitening gel stuff. You brush this stuff on each tooth, then let it sit while exposing your teeth to the air for a minute. This is hard to do. The act of "bearing fangs" is funny enough, but when you are doing it to yourself in the mirror for a minute trying not to salivate, it becomes demoralizing. It just made me wonder how important whiter teeth really are? People only see a few of them at a time, and that's only if you let people see them. It's easy to hide your teeth when you talk. Just ask any 15 year old with braces.

But seriously, if I whitened my teeth, spent a bunch of money for this, I'm just doing it for OTHER people's personal comfort. I mean, I'm not looking at my teeth. THEY are. what do I care what they think of my teeth? I don't. Because most likely they've just got some fugly ingrown fang, or a crooked bottom row, or a gap, or some crowns. This whole business of Dentists is really crazy to me, because all they do is teeth. People grow up going to the doctor, who fixes, well, EVERYTHING.

Then there is the Dentist, who works on teeth. This Dentist guy or gal is getting way too much credit for their profession. Why aren't chiropractor's part of the regular check up? People complain about their backs all the time. Or psychiatrists? I mean, everyone is crazy. Kids are crazy, teenagers are nuts, parents are loopy and have affairs. Once you've taken care of everything else, you won't have anything to smile about anyway because of those bills you have to pay. So why even bother going to el dentisto? Habit, I suppose.

Most likely, my dentist will poke my gums with a metal spike for 5 minutes, then let me know that they are bleeding, and that I should floss more. No shit, they're bleeding! Leave my gums alone! That being said, I hope I don't have any cavities. I'll be sure to let you know... I'm betting on none.

-Chris