So I recently hit upon the idea of a body balm. Like lip balm, except for your entire body. Cause people have dry skin in this country and around the world. And let's face the facts, lotion does not cut it. I don't care if you have a commecial with an alligator, your damn lotion does not work (I'm talking to the advertising gods, btw).
So we have BODY BALM! which is just like lip balm, only it goes over your entire body or where desired. It comes in a really cool space-age backpack container, which fits about 15 punds of balm. That way you will always have enough. you can spread it over you in a refreshing thick layer, and unlike lotion, you'll know it's there, because your glassy sheen will reflect every light source you come in contact with. The other great thing is that it will soak into your clothes, so you will always be in contact with your balm.
I mean really, who wouldn't want 5 pounds of gooey moisturizing goodness on your body? WHO?